Choose Your Words Carefully

Here it is, almost Christmas. Where did the time go. I was just complaining about it being hot and now I'm complaining about it being cold.

So, what's a Texas Farmgirl to do about Christmas? I try to make a lot of the gifts we give out. I knit things like sweaters, dish cloths, mary jane slippers. I make some herbal gifts like teas, rosemary garlic olive oil, relaxing bath teas, or cold and flu bath salts. I also make fudge and cookies. What everyone really wants is my grandmother Cara's almond macaroon cake! I've been making it for years and my grandmother made it for years before me. It is a bundt cake that is good any time of day or night. It's not too sweet. Though it is called an almond macaroon cake it contains neither almonds nor macaroons. What does it contain, you might ask? I can't tell you. It is a family secret. I have sworn upon pain of death not to give out the recipe. My mother will carry that out too. My oldest son knows how to make it now. Isn't that cool? My son is making the same cake that my grandmother made so often. She would give this cake out as a gift and now my son is following that pattern. He likes making them for adult 4-H leaders as a thank you.

That reminds me of another cake my grandmother Cara used to make. It was a mandarin orange cake. This cake had 3 layers with the most slippery icing between each layer. I happened across the hand written recipe in one of my grandmother's notebooks. On one page she was balancing her budget; on the other is this recipe for a cake that everyone loved. She used to make it for birthdays sometimes. My husband didn't get one of these mandarin orange cakes for his birthday. I found the recipe just before his birthday and thought I'd make it for him. It was like grandma was telling me to make it for him from her.

I knew there were some issues with this cake. It is in 3 very thin layers. The cake is very soft and moist with pieces of mandarin oranges trying to break it up. It was going pretty well until I started getting the cakes out of the pans. I called my mom to see if grandma had a secret to keeping it together. She did! My mom asked me if I had cussed at the cake. You read that right. She wanted to know if I had used inappropriate language in the cake's presence. In my frustration I had. Then she asked me what word. What word? Seriously? Apparently I was using the wrong expletive. Grandma was quite particular about this cake. Mom gave me the word. I hung up the phone and sent the kids out of the kitchen. Lo and behold! That cake cooperated after that!

So the next time you're having problems in the kitchen, maybe it isn't you. Maybe you just haven't chosen your words carefully enough.

Since the recipe for mandarin orange cake (or pig pickin' cake) is all over the internet I'm going to post it here. I'll give you the recipe but I don't think I can give you the magic words to make it work online. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

Ingredients

• 1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 1 (11 ounce) can mandarin orange segments
• 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
• 1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple with juice
• 1 (3.5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour 3 9 inch round pans.
2. In a large bowl, combine cake mix, eggs, oil and mandarin oranges with juice. Beat until smooth. Pour batter into 3 prepared pans.
3. Bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Allow to cool.
4. To make the topping: In a large bowl, beat together whipped topping, pineapple with juice and dry pudding mix until blended. Spread on cake and layer.

First of all let me introduce myself. My name is Tanna and as you can tell from my description I am obviously insane. I am married to the best man I know and we are raising the most wonderful boys whom I homeschool. That isn't what makes me insane though. We have a dog, Jake, that is some mix of random herding dogs. We also have a cat, Minerva, that drives my hubby insane. That isn't what makes me insane either. I am raising a small back-yard flock of chickens. The picture above is of LuLu, one of our two buff orpingtons (she is named after Lucy Buffett, Jimmy's sister and owner of the best restaurant I know) and behind her is Ostara, one of two easter eggers. They are about 4 weeks old in the picture enjoying the coop my husband built for them out of reclaimed lumber. The lumber is from a play set my boys enjoyed until a tornado threw a tree into it. I have two veggie gardens and herbs growing anywhere I can stick them. None of that is what makes me insane either. So what is it you ask??? It is that I am doing it in the Texas heat, in the middle of an urban area on less than a 1/4 of an acre.

Let me just get this out there. I really don't like it here right now. It is hot and it is polluted and we are too far from a beach. I don't have anything against the people though. I love all of my neighbors. I am very fortunate to live in a neighborhood that is, in some ways, stuck in the 1950's. We know all of our neighbors. We all look out for each other. There are fantastic kids riding bikes up and down the street (when it is under 100 degrees anyway). We have progressive dinner, block parties, a wonderful Halloween experience and lots of front porch conversation. We also have the best 4-H club in which my kids and are heavily invested. So I guess I'd like to just pick up my neighborhood and set it in a place with clean air, no gas drilling, temps that don't regularly soar over 100 degrees with a beach in one direction and mountains in the other. I would also like this place to not dip below freezing too often. Hey, I was raised here and I'm not used to the cold. Is that too much to ask? I hope not.